Happy Seeds

Your mind will not make you a liar

becky@beckwaters.com (Becky Waters) — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 17:49:00 GMT

August 18 -- This Week's Quote:

“Whatever you determine to be true in the subconscious becomes true for you.” – Richard Hatch

Your mind won’t make you a liar because whatever you determine to be true… IS true for you.

Our subconscious mind is 88% of our brain power. It holds every experience we’ve ever had – whether it was good and bad. It holds the memory of everything that has ever been said to us whether in words or actions (literally or inferred); It keeps a record of every emotion we’ve ever felt – every joy, every sadness – it doesn’t matter. It’s all information which acts as our “programming” or our life script. And from this vast array of information it brings into our experience the things that we asks for – whether consciously or unconsciously.

In essence, our subconscious mind is like a “yes” machine. And it always achieves what it’s programmed to achieve.

For example, if you have a tendency to think that people don’t like you, and a new co-worker comes on board and you say, “You know, I really don’t think that new person – let’s call her Connie – I don’t think Connie likes me.” Your subconscious mind says, okay, and immediately gets busy bringing you evidence that this new person doesn’t like you.

So the way this plays out…. maybe you just “happen” to only seem to be around Connie when she’s having a bad day, or has just gotten some upsetting news and you misread her behavior. OR, perhaps, with the attitude you’ve already set up by your thought that she doesn’t like you, you may be consciously or unconsciously holding a grudge. Or maybe since you believe she doesn’t like you, you tend to not present your best self when she’s around and she reacts in a displeasing way to you.

I know I’ve been around people who just seem to bring out the worst in me – I’ll say something or behave in a way that I wouldn’t otherwise say or do around someone else. As I’ve looked deeper into those instances, I’ve realized that underneath, I didn’t think that that person valued me or my contribution in the way I thought they should. And this made me not act or react my best around them, especially when it was an impromptu meeting.

Our thoughts and beliefs guide our actions. And our experiences mirror what’s in our subconscious mind.

The good news is that we can change our programming. It takes work, but it can be done because our mind does not make a liar out of us.

So, if instead, you say in a self-confident, loving way, “I like myself, and if Connie chooses to like me or to not like me, either way is fine. Because I value myself.”

With this kind of thought pattern, you’re more likely to keep a positive frame of mind when she’s around, or to just not be bothered if she is being less than her best. Plus, as you keep up this new thought, you’ll probably begin to notice that you’re having more pleasant interactions with her. OR you may notice that your paths don’t seem to cross as much any more.

The thing to remember is… as we think, so we are. As we believe, so we receive in our experiences. The Bible states it, “As ye sow, so shall ye reap.” Mr. Hatch reminds us that whatever we conclude to be true does indeed, turn out to be true for us.

It’s a simple truth. Your mind will not make a liar out of you. Your subconscious mind is listening to every word you say, keeping a log for future reference. That’s its job. And it will bring to your experience whatever you direct it to with your words, your thoughts, and your beliefs.

What’s coming into your experience? Do you like the results you’re getting?

If not, do a little detective work. Start becoming aware of the thoughts behind your actions and behaviors. Write them down and keep a log. Notice if you see any patterns emerging.

If you do, look beneath the patterns to the core belief and ask yourself, “Is this true?”

If you’d like support as you work through this process, I’d love to help you. I know it’s hard to see clearly when you’re in the middle of it. That’s the great thing about having a coach to support you.

Remember, your mind will not make a liar out of you because whatever you determine to be true becomes true for you.

Blessings!

Becky

Looking Beyond the Imperfections

becky@beckwaters.com (Becky Waters) — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 23:29:00 GMT

July 26--This Week's Quote:

“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.” – Unknown

Life is full of ups and downs, good and bad. Things in your life may not be exactly the way you want them to be. But it’s up to you whether you choose to bemoan the situation, complain and fuss, and be miserable.

There is another choice. You can choose to look beyond the imperfections, looking toward how you’d rather it be, and then take whatever action you can toward making things better.

This not only puts you in a much happier frame of mind, it helps create the changes a whole lot faster!

For instance, if I say to you, “Don’t think of a purple hippopotamus.” What do you immediately do? Think of a purple hippopotamus!

We can’t do a don’t. While you may want to stop being poor, single, unhealthy, or whatever your situation is, it’s not very useful to think about it in these ways – in other words, to think about what you don’t want.

It’s much more helpful to think and talk in terms of what you do want. “I want to be healthy, wealthy, and in a happy relationship.”

Then, once you’ve made that decision and stated this intention, then you must take action. Saying “I want” with no action to back it up is just a wish.

Follow your intuition, take action and trust the universe to satisfy your deepest needs, wants, and desires. Expect good things!

Because we’re human, and part of our job here is to develop and grow into our highest potential, I don’t know that there will ever be THE perfect life situation. But keeping an optimistic frame of mind while moving forward with an air of expectation will lead us to the happy, fulfilling life we all desire.

Blessings!

Becky

Happiness Is a Choice

becky@beckwaters.com (Becky Waters) — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 23:22:00 GMT

July 21--This Week's Quote:

”Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.” – Aeschylus, Ancient Greek Dramatist/Playwright known as the founder of Greek tragedy, 525-456 BC

And that effort, I believe, is in realizing that things will never make us happy.

Everybody thinks they want things – sadly, its part of commercialism and advertising – the buy this, do this and you’ll be happy syndrome.

Now there’s nothing wrong with commercialism or advertising as long as you understand that their soul purpose is to get you to spend your money. Buying into their promise of happiness, glamor, or success is a totally different story.

What people really want is the feeling that things will bring them. What you and I, all of us really want is the feeling. And usually that feeling is something like freedom, security, peace, or love.

Here’s a test. Choose something that you desire – a thing, an experience, a change, etc. Now ask yourself, “What would that give me that I wouldn’t otherwise have?” Then ask the question again about that.

For example: “I want a new job.” What would that give me that I wouldn’t otherwise have? “More money.” What would more money give me that I wouldn’t otherwise have? “Freedom!”

Ask it several times and you’ll end up at the feeling. This is the feeling you’ll feel when you’ve got what you want.

So, the trick is…. to start feeling that feeling now. And then what you want will come to you even more easily and enjoyably.

Happiness is a choice. When you stop “chasing” it, trying to acquire “things” to make you happy and realize that all you have to do is focus on the feeling, then happiness comes easily, like a butterfly softly landing on your shoulder.

Blessings!

Becky

What Flavor Are Your Thoughts?

becky@beckwaters.com (Becky Waters) — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 18:30:00 GMT

July 12 - This Week's Quote:

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” – Marcus Aurelius, 121-180 AD, Roman Emperor, Stoic Philosopher

What flavor of thoughts have you had so far today?

Have they been the sour tasting flavor of worry? Worrying over something that happened, something that has not happened, or over some future thing that may happen?

Have they been that acid flavor of regret or despair, maybe even a tinged with a little resentment?

Have you been tasting the choking bitterness of fear that keeps you stuck and hiding from your potential?

Or, maybe you’ve enjoyed the sweet taste of gratitude, joy, and appreciation?

Whatever the flavor of your thoughts, it’s your choice. You choose where to direct the focus of your thoughts. Thoughts centered in gratitude, joy, and appreciation tends to produce a happy life. Thoughts centered in worry, regret, or fear tends to produce a unhappy life. What you focus on, you get more of.

By focus, I mean the combination of thought and emotion. For instance, worry is an excellent way to focus on bringing what you don’t want into your life (debt, ill health, bad relationships, etc) To attract what you do want, imagine having what you desire and feeling the way you’ll feel when you already have it.

If you’re not sure what you’ve been focusing on, just look around you! Whatever’s been showing up in your life over time is what you’ve been focusing on.

Change your focus and you’ll change your life.

Happiness is an inside job. And really, as Mr Marcus said way back in 1st century, very little is needed to make a happy life. It’s all in the way you think.

What flavor are your thoughts?

Blessings!

Becky

The Responsibility of Freedom

becky@beckwaters.com (Becky Waters) — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 01:02:44 GMT

July 4 -- This Weeks Podcast:

“I pledge allegiance to my Flag, and to the Republic for which it stands: one Nation indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for all.” – Francis Bellamy (1855-1931)

Things to think about:
• What does freedom mean to you?
• Would you say “give me liberty or give me death”? (Patrick Henry, 1775)
• How often do you take a stand for what you believe in – at work, with friends, with family?
• How often do you “go along” with something just because you don’t want to draw attention to yourself, or you don’t want to make a fuss?
• How often do you exercise your “freedom” to say no when you really don’t want to do something you’ve been asked to do?
• Do you take on the opinions and perspectives you hear on the news or read in the paper? or do you investigate other sources and come up with your own opinion?

With Freedom comes responsibility. Part of our responsibility as free people is to NOT follow along blindly, but to be informed and to think for our selves and to make up our own minds about things.

As you celebrate this July 4th, give some thought to what the words to the pledge of allegiance really says.

Here’s an interpretation from the late comedian and actor Red Skelton (I read this in the Podcast.) www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kfz2XDXaeqc

“I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands: one Nation under God, indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for all.”

50th Birthday Celebration

becky@beckwaters.com (Becky Waters) — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 12:28:00 GMT

"Very early, I knew that the only object in life was to grow." - Margaret Fuller

Today is my 50th birthday!! With all the prep for the huge party my husband is throwing for me (live band and everything!!) I haven't had time to record this week's episode. My apologies.

But I did want to leave you with a few "words of wisdom" and also an invitation...

INVITATION

As part of my 50th year celebration, I'm embarking on a 90-day challenge - to write 90 articles in 90 days! And I could use YOUR HELP

I've created a Baby Boomer Survey to help me learn what your challenges, dreams, and goals are. I want to write articles relevant to you. So, please take the survey. (You'll also get an invitation to be part of another project I'm working on.) If you don't fall into the 1946-1964 age range, please forward this to your friends, family, coworkers who do. I really appreciate it!!

WORDS OF WISDOM

"And in the end, it's not the years in your live that count. It's the life in your years." - Abraham Lincoln

"Life is too short to be small." - Benjamin Disraeli. British Prime Minister, Novelist, 1804-1881

"Plant the seeds of Love in your hearts. Let them grow into trees of Service..." - Sri Sathya Sai Baba, Indian Spiritual leader, b. 1926

"It takes a log time to grow young." Pablo Picasso, Spanish Artist and Painter, 1881-1973

"Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had, and what you've learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated." - Unknown

"Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of 'you' to the world." - Unknown

Have a great week!

-Becky

Building Castles in the Air

becky@beckwaters.com (Becky Waters) — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 18:30:00 GMT

June 21 - This Week's Quote:

“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.” – Thoreau

I found this quote on a greeting card way back in 1987 and I’ve kept it a frame all these years.

It gave me encouragement back then when I had dreams of being a published writer and composer.

Today, as a coach and a published writer and composer, I understand how important it is to follow your dream, your passion…. whatever it is that tugs at your heart calling to be born – calling for YOU to give it life and make it happen.

It won’t go away no matter how hard you may try to ignore it or however many roadblocks may get in your way.

If you have a strong desire to do, be, or have something…. that’s like God knocking on the door of your heart and saying…. hey… this is why you’re here. This is part of your purpose – to make this dream a reality and share it with the world!

What is it that you really, really want? What do you day dream about but keep putting off till “someday”? What gifts and talents do you have that are tugging at your heart to be born?

Those longings are like “castles in the air” waiting for you to put the foundation under them.

Will you do it? If so, when?

What is one thing you could do right now, or before you go to bed tonight that would lay that first cornerstone in your dream’s foundation?

If you don’t take that first step toward making your dream a reality today… are you willing to spend another week, month, or year putting it off and putting a hold on being and doing what you came here to do?

Stop Sinking, Change Your Way of Thinking

becky@beckwaters.com (Becky Waters) — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 18:30:00 GMT

June 14 - This Week's Quote:

“Stop sinking, change your way of thinking.” – Amy Langer Schwartz

Do you generally have a sense of happiness and well-being as you go about your day?

If you don’t, there’s a good chance you’re caught up in the Negativity Trap – and you may not even realize it.

We have 60,000 thoughts that go through our mind each day. Most of these are subconscious. This is good news and bad news.

It’s good because if they were all in our conscious mind we would definitely be overwhelmed 24/7 and would not get anything done!

The bad news is that, yes, they ARE unconscious. And most of them are the same thoughts we had yesterday, last week, or last year!

The other not-so-good-news is that a good majority of these thoughts – conscious and unconscious – are negative put-downs directed at our own self. And they go through our mind so automatically, that we sometimes don’t even realize we’re thinking them.

Have you ever noticed yourself saying things like:
- I’m too old
- I’m such a klutz
- That was a stupid thing to say
- I can’t do that because….
- I’m ugly, or fat, or too thin, or…..

And these statements usually come riding in on a wave of emotions that can range anywhere from light sarcasm to utter disgust.

Just think what this is doing to our self-esteem! Not to mention our attitudes!

Truth is, our words have power. And when we put emotion behind them, that’s like giving them a turbo charge.

Statements like the examples I gave are “affirmations” – declarations that something is true.
- What are you affirming is true about yourself?
- Do these statements make you feel good, or not so good?
- What are the results you’re experiencing in your life because of these statements?

It’s important to remember that with every word we think or say, we are “affirming” and creating our life experiences. So working to rid ourselves of negative thinking and limiting beliefs is critical to living a fulfilling life and to having a healthy sense of well-being.

So, if you know or suspect that you’re caught up in a Negativity Trap, what can you do?
1. Become aware of your self-talk. When you catch yourself saying or thinking something negative or limiting about yourself, write it down. Start keeping a log of your internal dialogue and notice the corresponding feelings that accompany it.
2. Turn those negative, limiting statements into positive affirmations.

Here are a few guidelines to keep in mind when creating and working with affirmations:
- Keep them in the present tense - as if they are already true. "I am" or “I have” are good ways to begin.
- Avoid the word "not" and its variations. For instance, "I am not fat" or even "I am no longer fat" keeps the focus on "fat". "I am healthy and trim" would be a better choice.
- Be frugal with the wording. You're not writing a treatise here. If one affirmation fills up more than half of a 3x5 index card, go back to the drawing board. Short and to the point is best.
- Put some emotion behind them. Feelings turbo charge our words giving them even more power. When you state your affirmation, dive in and really feel how wonderful it is that your statement is, indeed true.
- Turn them into a song. This not only makes them easier to remember, it also makes them more fun! Here’s an example sung to the tune “The Farmer in the Dell” – “I’m healthy, fit, and trim. I’m healthy, fit, and trim. I love my body now. I’m healthy, fit, and trim.” (from “13 Affirmation Songs on Melodies You already Know” – get your copy free when you join my mailing list at www.SpiritualCoachingCenter.com)

Remember, the bulk of our internal dialogue is made up of the 60,000 habitual thoughts that run through our subconscious and conscious mind. Changing these habitual thoughts is the same as changing any kind of habit. It takes conscious daily practice doing the "new" until the new becomes the habit – usually about 25-30 days. And just like doing anything new, it’s probably going to feel uncomfortable at first. But your diligence and stick-to-it-iveness will pay off in the long run.

Here are just a few benefits of working with positive affirmations and getting out of the Negativity Trap:
- less stress
- more energy and vitality
- increased confidence and self-esteem
- improved ability in whatever area you’re working on
- greater sense of happiness and well-being

You have control of your thoughts and attitudes. Sugar Ray Robinson, American Boxer once said, “I’ve always believed that you can think positive just as well as you can think negative.”

Which way will YOU choose to think?

I Think Therefore I Am

becky@beckwaters.com (Becky Waters) — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 18:30:00 GMT

June 7 - This Week's Quote:

“I think, therefore I am.” - René Descartes, 17th Century French Philosopher

The philosophy behind this statement is, in so many words, I am certain that I exist because I can think. Well, that’s pretty much a no-brainer. I invite you to “think” a little deeper….

Medical science is proving that what we think changes what we experience. Even quantum physics is involved in this “mind over matter” theory. One of the main ideas behind quantum physics is that the thoughts of the observer have an effect on the outcome of the experiment.

What if we changed Mr. Rene’s statement to: we are what we think. Think about it….

It’s really all a matter of focus. If it’s mid afternoon and you think, “I’m tired,” you’ll be tired. If you have a big presentation to give and you think, “I’m nervous,” you’ll be nervous. But if you feel yourself getting all worked up about something, and instead of following that thought pattern, you think instead, “I’m at peace,” you’ll be at peace. What you give your attention to, you get more of.

I AM statements are declarations of truth. In stating these affirmations, your body responds accordingly, and your subconscious mind immediately goes out to find and bring you more examples and experiences of this “truth.”

Try it yourself. Next time you catch yourself saying or thinking, “I’m tired,” sstop and say “cancel.” Then turn it around to a positive affirmation like, “I am full of energy,” or “I am focused and full of the energy required to finish this project” – or you get the idea.

Remember, as you think, so you are. Or in other words, you are what you think. And the words you say – the declarations you make – have a way of coming true.

Happy Seeds Will Return Soon...

becky@beckwaters.com (Becky Waters) — Sat, 17 May 2008 18:30:00 GMT

Hello Happy Seeds Subcribers,

This is Becky's Assistant, Lee. She wanted to let you all know that the happy seeds podcast will be on hold for a little while. She has had a family emergency and is in Southern Georgia for the time being.

Her 80-year-old father fell on Tuesday and broke his hip. They were going to do surgery on Thursday, but the doctors decided it would be too risky to his survival. I just ask that you keep her, her father, and the rest of the family in your thoughts this weekend and next week.

In the mean time she'd like you to check out her new You Tube venture. This is a audio/visual version of her eZine article this month, "Scared VS Fear." Check it out below.

Have a Good Weekend!

Lee

Avoiding Blessing Blockers

becky@beckwaters.com (Becky Waters) — Sat, 10 May 2008 18:30:00 GMT

May 10 - This Week's Quote:

“Beware of the Blessing Blockers in your life.” – Bernard Linton (Barbados)

One of my subscribers, Cassandra Bowen, heard this quote during a motivational conference. She says this is one of her favorites because as she’s “encountered so many people who spread so much negative in your life that they block your blessings, I have learned to stay away from them.”

I’m sure we’ve all had the experience when you’re excited about something – a new idea, or something really great just happened, or maybe you’re just in a really good mood – and then somebody comes by and starts talking about how awful their life is or how bad they feel, or how this or that will never work, or some other poor pitiful me story.

And it feels about the same as if you just got all dressed up, ready to go out, and someone throws a sopping wet rag in your face.

Major downer!

When I read this quote, I immediately starting singing this old Baptist hymn I learned as a kid….

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Count your blessings, name them one by one…..

I’ll spare you the rest of it….

It’s true, though….. When you start thinking about all the blessings in your life – all the things that you are grateful for, it’s hard to be upset or sad or even neutral, really!

And it’s impossible to feel two opposite emotions at the same time. Of course, there are many shades of emotions in between, but you can’t really feel good and feel bad at the same time…. or at least, I can’t. And I would much rather feel good than feel bad.

So it really makes sense to guard what comes into your awareness. For instance, I stopped watching the news on TV many years ago. I don’t like the constant babble of doom and gloom. I don’t want to know how many murders there have been or how high gas prices are soaring. I don’t want to hear about any of their “oh no let’s be afraid” stories.

It’s not that I don’t care about the families that have lost loved ones or about what’s happening in the world. It’s because of the fact that what you focus on grows. If you focus on doom and gloom you’ll see more and more doom and gloom, and pretty soon, with a continuous diet of this, you’ll be so afraid or depressed that you can’t even leave your house.

Now I know, that’s going to the extreme, but think about it—a full diet of doom and gloom is about as happy a thing as a having to eat liver at every meal. Yuck!

It’s simply harder to focus on the good things in your life, when you’re constantly bombarded with negativity – whether it’s from TV, co-workers, friends, and even family.

So, to help you and your family focus on blessings and counter-act the blessing blockers in your life, here are six ideas of things to do to:

1. At meal time or bed time everyone share something good that happened to them that day.

2. Share with your partner 3 things they did that week that made you feel loved.

3. While driving to work or taking your kids to soccer or piano lessons, see who can notice the most things that they like or appreciate and tell why they like/appreciate them.

4. Start a gratitude journal. Make it a family affair and keep a notebook open where each family member can add to it daily.

5. Appreciate your kids and TELL them! Keep a “warm fuzzy” jar for each person in the family. Have strips of paper close by where everyone can write things they love or appreciate about each other. Collect these in the jars. Make it a weekly event to read them together.

6. Practice gratitude. Wherever you are, waiting in line at the bank or sitting in traffic, use that time to think about things in your life that you’re grateful for.

Life is full of ups and downs, joys and sorrows. And it’s up to you whether you put your attention on the negative things in life or on the positive things in your life. But rest assured that whichever one you focus on the most will be the one that is most prevalent in your life. Because, what you focus on grows.

Blessings!

Becky

Inner Beauty is in the Soul

becky@beckwaters.com (Becky Waters) — Sat, 03 May 2008 18:30:00 GMT

May 3 - This Week's Quote:

“Human beauty can be seen by the light of the soul, not the light of the sun. Even in darkness, someone who is filled with that light is instantly recognizable.” – Edna Tilghman Larson, healer & herbalist, mid-20th Century

This quote is from a book that Amanda Larson wrote about her grandmother, Healing From a Grandmother’s Heart. And a subscriber and friend of mine, Elaine Graves, sent it to me. Elaine is a massage therapist here in the Huntsville AL area, and she says this quote really resonated with her because when she begins her sessions and first puts her hands on the person, she can feel their essence, their soul. “Everyone has true beauty,” she says, “you just have to get beyond the exterior.”

This idea of acknowledging the inner beauty, inner essence, or soul of another person is expressed in the Sanskrit term, “namaste,” which literally means, “I bow to you.” The basis of this greeting recognizes a common divinity within the other person. In some Eastern traditions “namaste” is said aloud or silently with the physical gesture of placing your hands in front of your chest and bowing slightly when greeting another person.

Back in the mid-90’s I was living in Atlanta, Georgia, and working on my Masters degree at Georgia State which was in downtown Atlanta. Each day, riding the marta train into town, gave me a wonderful opportunity to practice this concept of seeing the inner beauty in people.

During each trip downtown and back, I would look at the people sitting around me and one by one I would say to them silently, “The Christ in me blesses the Christ in you.” It was my way of practicing and “exercising” my inner vision muscles – looking beyond the outward appearance and connecting with their essence.

Because, I believe inside, at the core of us, we are all the same. We all got here the same way – a sperm and egg getting together, developing inside a uterus; we’re all made from the same common elements – hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, and carbon; and we all have a story. We all have hopes and dreams and frustrations and challenges. We are all searching for that deep inner peace and yearn to live lives full of meaning and fulfillment.

So, in essence, we are all filled with that “light” Edna talks about – that “light of the soul.”

I challenge you this week to look for this light in the people you come in contact with. See if you can get past the appearance, or the irritating behavior, or whatever it is that may annoy you about another person – look beyond that and try to connect with their inner essence – their inner beauty. Use the greeting, “namaste” or “the Christ in me blesses the Christ in you” or some other version. Whatever feels right for you.

Try it for a day, or two, or for a week and see what happens. How do you feel at the end of the day? Does it make any difference in how your life flows? I’d be curious to know. Leave a comment on the Happy Seeds blog and let me know.

We all have an inner magnificence, an inner divinity… an inner beauty that can be seen when we look into the soul essence of our fellow human beings. The question is can you go deep enough to see it?

Blessings!

Becky

Making Mistakes

becky@beckwaters.com (Becky Waters) — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 18:30:00 GMT

April 26 - This Week's Quote:

“Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to error that counts.” – Yolanda Cornelia “Nikki” Giovanni, American poet (b.1943)

This is a great quote submitted by my sister, Pam Boushell. Actually it’s my sister who inspired me to begin asking my subscribers to submit their favorite quotes. I use them in this Podcast as well as in my monthly ezine, “Create a Happy ‘Tude.” And I’d love to hear from you. Just send an email your favorite quote to me at becky@spiritualcoachingcenter.com.

Now, back to Nikki Giovanni’s wisdom “Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to error that counts.”

I’ve heard the same concept stated different ways from many sources, saying basically, it’s not so much what happens to us in life, and it’s how we react to what happens that makes all the difference.

Simply put, “life” happens. Mistakes happen – or at least, things that may seem like a “mistake” at the time.

But what is a mistake anyway? The definition from Answers.com that I like the best is this: a mistake is “a wrong action attributable to bad judgment or ignorance or inattention.”

How many of us have NOT done something that, had we known better, we would not have done it. Or maybe we DID know better, but we did it anyway? I know I have!

And how many times have we made errors just because we were not paying attention?

In my years teaching piano, working with beginner students, I call mistakes “oop’s.” If they’re playing along and miss a note or a rhythm, I just say, “oops” and we go back and re-look at that spot. Now if they’re playing through the piece and keep making “oop’s” then we stop and regroup and try a different approach.

And it’s the same with life. If we treat our mistakes as little life “oop’s” it helps lighten up a bit and not judge ourselves too harshly. It helps us step back, acknowledge what happened, make any amends that might be needed, and then try a different method of doing whatever you were trying to do.

I’ve known people who were so afraid of making a mistake that they were frozen and could not do anything, or they just simply refused to even try. I’ve had students who, if they didn’t get it right the first time, they’d pout or cry or give up – or all 3!

To me, a mistake means you’re one step closer to getting it right. And as soon as you get through all the ways that don’t work, you’ll find the one that does! Albert Einstein knew this too. He is quoted to have said something like, “I try and try 99 times, the 100th time, I am right.” And I’m sure all the successful inventors, artists, writers, business entrepreneurs, anyone who has achieved anything at all, have thought or felt that same way too.

So, in essence, the only real mistake is giving up too soon, which gets us to the second part of the quote, “it’s the response to error that counts.”

What’s your response when you make a mistake?

Do you judge yourself and tell yourself how stupid or foolish you were? Do you pile on the guilt and punish yourself with “should,” “shouldn’t haves,” or “if onlys?”

Or do you examine the situation to understand what went wrong and learn from it?

And here’s the kicker…..what if it’s someone else who makes the mistake? Do you treat them the same way you treat yourself?

Notice this week, how do you respond to the mistakes you make. How do you respond to the mistakes that other people make? Or that your children make? How are you teaching your children to handle their mistakes?

Mistakes happen. We’re human! It’s inevitable. It’s how we learn. It’s called life. What makes the difference is how we respond to our mistakes and the mistakes of others. How will you respond this week?

Blessings!

Becky

What Is Your Life Purpose?

becky@beckwaters.com (Becky Waters) — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 18:30:00 GMT

April 19 - This Week's Quote:

“The purpose of your life is to be you.” – Kathy Atkinson

This is a great quote from my friend and colleague, Kathy Atkinson at www.8keystosuccess.com. It’s simple, yet it really says it all.

She says that so many people are struggling to discover their life purpose and are waiting for some light bulb to go off. But all they really need to do is just be who they are and do the things that make them happy.

I can’t agree more. However, I do understand the struggle and the “mystique” that can surround this subject – “life purpose.”

Many years ago I struggled with how to figure out the answer to what seemed to be an impossibly illusive question: What is my purpose in life?

It had that feeling of being stuck in an unending circle – like when I was in 9th grade, getting ready for my first “date” – my 9th grade social studies class was going to see the movie “Dr Zhivago” – and my boyfriend was in the class. This “date” stuff was all new territory to me and I was really nervous! What do I do? How do I act? And mom said, “Just be yourself,” to which I immediately thought, “Which self?”

Over the years, though, I’ve realized that understanding our purpose, our reason for being here, is much like trying to catch a butterfly. If you run after it, it will evade you. But if you sit still and quiet, it will come and land on your shoulder.

Basically, as Kathy says, your purpose is to be you – to be who you are. Your purpose is to use your gifts and talents and strengths. Your purpose is to do the things you’re good at, the things you love doing, the things that you are passionate about.

There is no one else like you, with your combination of skills, experience, talents, and strengths. If you don’t stand up to the plate and be you, then who will?

If you’re unclear what your purpose is or you’d like to ponder the question a little deeper, here are some things to think about this week. I encourage you to write down your answers when you get some quiet time alone. Writing your answers will help give you more clarity.

1. List your gifts, talents, strengths, and all the things you are good at that you enjoy doing.

2. What really ignites your passion? What do you do that makes you loose track of time?

3. Look back at any struggles that you have overcome in your life that you are really proud of, or that give you a sense of inner strength.

4. What do you want to be remembered for? What do you want people to say about you when you are gone?

5. Look back at your answers to these questions and circle or highlight any reoccurring words. Are there any themes that seem to emerge? Or that naturally sort into categories?

6. Using what you have revealed through your answers here, complete this sentence: The purpose of my life is to…

What is your life purpose? Your purpose here is to be you – to be the real you doing the things that fill your heart with passion. It’s really that simple. The harder question is, do you have the courage to be the real you?

Blessings!

Becky

The most valuable education of all

becky@beckwaters.com (Becky Waters) — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 18:30:00 GMT

April - This Week's Quote:

“The most valuable of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it has to be done, whether you like it or not.” -Aldous Huxley

How many times have you heard some one say, “Yeah, I really need to do that,” referring to a task they either needed to finish or to begin, or some change in habit or behavior they need to make. Then, in the next breath, they list all the reasons why they can’t do it – not enough time, they need this certain bit of information first, or someone else has to do something before they can do this, or you name it.

Or how many times have you had something on your to-do list that was really important – a project you really needed to start, or to get finished – but you kept putting other things first, or you kept doing lesser important things until there was no more time left to get the biggest important thing done?

I know I’ve done this many times, and so have my clients!

If you’ve ever had kids or been around preschoolers, you’re familiar with the defiant 3 year old who says “No” to everything.

Or maybe in grade school, your parents said, “Do your homework first, and then you can play,” like mine did. Remember the frustration? You just needed to do this one thing first – watch a tv show, play a video game, call a friend, whatever it was, then you’d to the homework. But no – they wouldn’t listen would they!?

Now, fast forward back to the present – where you are today. When you can’t seem to make yourself do the things you know you need to do, have you perhaps slipped into the role of the defiant 3 year old, or the rebellious youth? It’s an easy habit to get into, and a habit you may not consciously realize you have until you do some exploring.

Notice next time you start to say or think, “Yeah, I really need to do that, but…” Stop and tune in to your heart. Do you sense a defiance or rebellion somewhere inside? If so, acknowledge that inner child. What would the loving parent say to them? Have some inner conversations using these questions:

*What are the choices involved here?

*What are the consequences of each choice?

*What is the desired outcome?

*Which choice would bring you this outcome more quickly?

You see, we’re all more willing to do things when we feel like we have a choice in the matter. Taking a moment to evaluate choices, consequences, and the preferred outcomes puts us more in a place of personal power and sidesteps the habitual default mode of reacting.

How much more productive and efficient would you be if, indeed, you could make yourself do the things you had to do, when they had to be done, whether you like it or not? How much happier would your home life be if you could teach your children this quality? You know, you can teach them. And the best way to do this is through your example.

Blessings!

Becky

Going beyond your limitations

becky@beckwaters.com (Becky Waters) — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 18:30:00 GMT

April 5 - This Week's Quote:

"You are not limited to the life you now live. It has been accepted by you as the best you can do at this moment. Any time you're ready to go beyond the limitations currently in your life, you're capable of doing that by choosing different thoughts."
- James Allen, As A Man Thinketh

If you keep thinking the same thoughts, you’ll get the same results. As Einstein once said, “You can’t solve a problem at the level on which it was created.”

If you want to change your life – or something about your life, you first need to change your thinking about it. You can do this in many ways depending on what it is you’re wanting to be different. But here are a few basic suggestions:

Change your perception of the problem or issue. Look at it from the other person’s perspective. Or, look at it from a higher, more inclusive, big picture perspective. For instance, if you were a writer, including this scenario in your story, what would be the benefit to all the characters involved – including yourself? What might be the lesson or the “gift”? You’ve heard the old adage: “every cloud has a silver lining.” What’s the silver lining in this problem/issue?
Change your self-talk. Stop saying I can’t. Say instead, I CAN. Like Henry Ford said, If you believe you can, you’re right, if you believe you can’t, you’re right.

Decide to be proactive and stop seeing yourself as the victim. Take back you’re your power and do something. Do whatever you can to correct the problem. If there’s nothing physically you can do, then let the “doing” be in your mind. Let go of the worrying or obsessing about it. Turn it over to God, the Universe, or a Higher Power to handle. And know that things will turn out right for you.

Put your focus else where. Decide that you will feel good about yourself and where you are in life regardless. And then begin to focus on what you do want, and how you do want your life situation to be. You see, when you are focused on what you don’t want and all the things you don’t like, you attract more of that into your life. When you stop and begin to focus on what you do want instead, you’ll start seeing more things that you do want appearing in your life.

If you’ve been primarily focusing on how bad things are or all the things you don’t want for awhile, it may take some time to break the “negative thinking” habit. And that’s okay. When you notice yourself thinking about what you don’t want – and especially if you are feeling negative emotion about it – just stop and say, “cancel” and immediately think of what you do want.

However, be careful that as you’re thinking of what you do want that you’re not focusing on the lack of it. This is very important and can sometimes be a very subtle difference. The key is to check in with your emotions. If you are feeling good, more positive, or even excited as you think of something you want, you’re on the right track. If you are feeling heavy, or not good in any way, then you’re focusing on the lack of what you want. You’re focused on not having it, which is bringing evidences of not having it into your life.

You are not limited to where you are now. This is simply where you’re choices and decisions up to this point have brought you. At any time, you can decide to make different choices. You can choose to think or act differently. And in doing this, you begin to create a new future for yourself. You begin to step beyond where you are today, paving the way for a different tomorrow.

Blessings!

Becky

Rampage of Appreciation

becky@beckwaters.com (Becky Waters) — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 18:30:00 GMT

March 29 - This Week's Quote:

“There is nothing more important than you feel good.” – Abraham-Hicks

When I first heard of this idea – there’s nothing more important than feeling good – I thought it was quite “Pollyanna;” happy, happy, joy, joy; a naïve way of looking at things.

But the more I’ve studied the Law of Attraction and quantum physics, the more I’m realizing that, yes, this is true.

Quantum physics reminds us that everything is made up of energy – tiny little particles moving around rapidly with a lot of space between them, and that even our words and our thoughts are part of the energetic vibrational world we live in.

The Law of Attraction is basically what Jesus was teaching when he said, “as ye sow, so shall ye reap.” Which in essence is like things attracts like things, or as we’ve all heard the saying, “birds of a feather flock together.”

In other words, what you focus on grows. Think about it, if you’re feeling bad emotionally or physically, does it make you feel better to keep continually thinking about how bad you feel? Not in my experience! Usually the more I give my attention to how bad I feel, the worse I feel because I keep finding more things to feel bad about!

But when I finally “hit bottom” so to speak, and start looking for ways to get out of the negative slump. That’s when I start to feel better.

I remember, many years ago, my first conscious experience of this. I was sick in bed with some kind of stomach ailment and the pills the doctor had given me were not helping. They were actually making me feel worse. I remember thinking, after several days of this, "Okay,enough. I’m done with this. I want to feel better." And the next day, I was up, out of bed, and well on the road to recovery.

The bottom line is, we either feel good, or we feel bad. Sure, there are many shades of feeling bad and feeling good, but if you had to choose sides, you’d either put the feeling more on the good side or the bad side.

So, the question is which would you rather feel - good or bad?

This past week, I’ve been practicing this “feeling good” idea, taking to heart “There is nothing more important than I feel good,” and I’ve been playing the Rampage of Appreciation game found in the book “Ask and It Is Given” by Jerry and Esther Hicks. And it sure makes the day more fun AND it makes it go a whole lot smoother!

Here’s how the game works:

Where ever you are, at home getting ready for the day, sending your kids off to school, driving to work, or sitting at your desk. Where ever you are, just look around and notice something that pleases you. Hold your attention on it and just think about how beautiful or wonderful or useful it is. The longer you focus on it, the more your positive feelings about it will increase.

Notice how your feelings have improved and appreciate that. Then look around for something else to appreciate and give your positive attention to that.

In this vibrational world we live in positive feelings are in the higher vibrational realm. Negative feelings are in a lower vibration. So the object of this game – finding things to appreciate – is a way to practice keeping our vibrational frequencies high, or if we’re not feeling so great, it’s a great way to “raise” our vibration or come into a better feeling place. This is not about finding something that is troubling and fixing it.

The more you find something to appreciate, the better it feels. And as Jerry and Esther Hicks say, “the better it feels, the better it feels!”

I invite you to go on a Rampage of Appreciation this week and see what happens. As you are driving to work you might think, for example: "I love my car. Even though it’s raining, I’m dry and safe and having a good time. I’m grateful for my job. I appreciate the steady income."

Or, as you tuck your children in at night, you might think: "I love my children. They really are a blessing. I’m so happy they are here."

Or as you’re waiting in line at the grocery story, you might think: "I appreciate how friendly that cashier is. Even though this line seems to be slow, it gives me a chance to catch my breath and practice appreciating things. I really like the blouse that lady is wearing," and so on.

Once you get in the habit of looking for things to appreciate, you’ll begin to see more and more things to appreciate. And in those times when you slide back into a bad feeling place or you notice something you do not want, you’ll find that it gets much easier to refocus your awareness on the things you do want and it’s much easier to move into a good feeling place. There is nothing more important than you feel good.

Blessings!

-Becky

You Can Do Whatever You Put Your Mind To

becky@beckwaters.com (Becky Waters) — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 18:30:00 GMT

March 22 - This Week's Quote:

“The truth of the matter is that there’s nothing you can’t accomplish if: 1. You clearly decide what it is that you’re absolutely committed to achieving, 2. You’re willing to take massive action, 3. You notice what’s working or not, and 4. You continue to change your approach until you achieve what you want, using whatever life gives you along the way.” – Anthony Robbins

My dad used to always tell me, “You can do whatever you put your mind to.” And it’s true, once I finally “put my mind to it”.

The key though, is “putting your mind to it” or as Anthony Robbins says, “clearly deciding what IT is that you want” AND deciding that you’re absolutely committed to achieving it – no matter what.

There are two issues involved here.

First, do you know what it is you want? No, really. Have you taken the time to filter out all the “don’t wants” and all the things you think you “should” want, or that other people think you should want? Have you looked deep down inside? What is it that YOU want more than anything else?

Once you’ve honed in on that thing that makes you go “YES! THIS is what I really want, can you describe it in detail? Take some time to write it out. What are you doing? What does your typical day look like? How does it feel being or doing this? Take time everyday to visualize your self doing or being it.

The subconscious mind does not know the difference between an imagined event or an actual event. Whatever you think about – and most importantly, whatever you FEEL along with it – the subconscious mind goes out looking for ways to bring it to you.

Once you know what you want, can clearly see it in your mind and feel it in your heart, then there’s the question: are you absolutely committed to achieving this and to making it happen?

I’ve found that this is where most people fall short. I’ve seen it over and over with my clients and in my own life, you finally decide on a direction or something that you really, really want, then suddenly all these doubts, fears, and deserve-ability issues begin to surface. And they can sabotage your success even before you get started good.

So, it’s critically important to work through these issues as they arise. To me, part of Mr. Robbins 2nd step: “being willing to take massive action” includes being willing to do the work required to move through and release all the doubts and fears that come up – to let go of the limiting beliefs you’re carrying around – maybe you knew about them already and were trying to pretend they weren’t there, or maybe you’re just now discovering them. Either way, they can become stumbling blocks on your road to success if you don’t deal with them head on.

There are many techniques available to help you do this. One of my favorites is EFT – Emotional Freedom Technique. If you would like to know more about this simple, yet powerful technique, I invite you to send me an email (becky@spiritualcoachingcenter.com) and we’ll set up a complimentary 20-30 minute session and I’ll teach you the technique as we work through one of your issues.

Truth is, you CAN have anything you want – if you have a clear picture of what that is and you’re fully committed to making it happen, AND you’re willing to do the work necessary to achieve it.

Blessings!

-Becky

To Forgive is to Let Go

becky@beckwaters.com (Becky Waters) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:02:00 GMT

March 15 - This Week's Quote:

“My idea of forgiveness is letting go of resentment that does not serve your better interest, ridding yourself of negative thoughts. All they do is make you miserable. Believe me, you can fret and fume all you want, but whoever it was that wronged you is not suffering from your anguish whatsoever.” – Della Reese

That’s so true, isn’t it? We can fuss and fume, be mad or in outrage about something that somebody did or said. We can let it ruin our day, or even years of our life, but who is the person being hurt by all this angst?

It’s US--not the other person. They're off dealing with their own stuff.

It’s US--you, me. We are causing our own anguish.

You see, forgiveness is really not about the other person. Forgiveness is something you do for yourself.

It’s letting go of the judgment that something bad or wrong happened, and then looking at the situation from a higher, bigger picture perspective. From a spiritual reality, World of Divine Truth, as opposed to an objective reality, the world of humanity where we see only with our 5 senses.

The human experience itself is about learning and growing and letting go of all our “stuff” so that we can reach our highest potential.

The people who are most troublesome to us are our greatest teachers because they offer us the opportunity to heal by mirroring what we have rejected about ourselves, or forcing us to look at something about ourselves that we have repressed, and by keeping us on track with our mission--our purpose in life.

Think about the characters in your favorite movie or story. Things happen to them in the course of the story, typically there are three incidences, with each one getting more and more intense. And as the characters go work through these situations, by the end of the story, the characters have evolved and changed in some way.

So, imagine that you’re writing a story or a movie, and have included this incident or situation that you’re holding resentment or ill feelings about as one of the scenes. You, as author, have decided to use this particular scene to help you grow and evolve and perhaps to heal a wound from your past.

What might be the reason for this situation happening to you? Is it forcing you to look at something you’re keeping bottled up inside? Is it making you look at something about yourself that you don’t want to look at?

From this higher perspective, what would be the reason for including this incident into your life story? There’s a saying, behind every cloud there’s a silver lining. What is the silver lining--the gift--to you in this situation.

Once you look at it this way, from this World of Divine Truth, you realize that there was no mistake, there was no wrong doing. So, in essence, there is nothing to forgive!

Life is not a random set of events without purpose or intelligence. Everything happens for a reason--we may not know or understand the reason because of our human limitations--but in the big picture scheme of things, in the World of Divine Truth, there is a purpose and a reason.

So knowing this, we can approach each moment without blame and without judgment.

The human experience is about growing and evolving, about healing our wounds and letting go of our “stuff” so that we can reach our highest potential.

So, forgiveness is really just a change in perception, stepping out of our world of humanity, stepping out of our victimhood, and letting go of our need to condemn.

Stepping back to look at things from a higher perspective, from the world of Divine Truth, where there is only love.

Blessings!

-Becky

Is Fear Your Counselor or Jailer?

becky@beckwaters.com (Becky Waters) — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 18:30:00 GMT

March 8 - This Week's Quote:

“Let fear be a counselor and not a jailer.” – Anthony Robbins

I’ve never really been a “fearful” type person. And things that felt “scary” I usually took on as a direct challenge.

However, when I first learned to ride a motorcycle, I got a BIG lesson in fear. And discovered what it was like to be – basically, paralyzed by fear.

My husband has been riding since he was 14 and for the past year I’d been riding with him as passenger. So, when we brought home my new Honda Rebel 250 motorcycle, I thought we’d just spend a few hours riding around the yard of our 3 acre property, then I’d be off riding on the street and going places.

Well...... THAT was not the case.

I got all geared up, sat on the seat, he explained how all the gismos worked and then said, “okay, now slowly let out the clutch and turn the throttle and take off.”

Well, first of all, I’d been driving gear-shift cars nearly all my life. I knew the concept, but translating those movements from my feet to my hands….. well my brain got it, but my hands were a bit clueless!

So I practiced just letting out the clutch a little to let myself start rolling…… with my feet still close to the ground. After I had several successes with that, then the next step was to actually put both feet on the foot pedals and do the gas/clutch thing.

Well THAT brought up a concept that I hadn’t really thought through all the way….. in order to put my feet on the foot pedals of the motorcycle, I was actually going to have to take my feet OFF the ground!

THAT was when the real, paralyzing FEAR came up. It meant I had to let go of the Known/ my security – my feet on the ground and TRUST in the physics of the forward moving motorcycle staying in an upright position.

Again, I understood the concept in theory – in my mind – but my pounding heart was saying, I’m not so sure about this! So, I made my husband ride on the back and be my “training wheels” so that I could get used to the clutch/gear mechanics without having to worry about the balance (and trust) issue!

So, needless to say, after that “practice” session, I spend some time delving into this unexpected Fear that surfaced.

What I discovered in this self-exploration, was that I had a reoccurring pattern of not Trusting the flow – not trusting the flow of life – not wanting to let things take the course they needed to take. The fear came from ego, really, thinking it could do a better job orchestrating my life than God could. But, I knew that if I was going to be able to learn how to ride the motorcycle, I was going to have to face this fear and work through it. The next practice sessions gave me chances to do that and also helped me realize that you can intellectually understand where the fear’s coming from and understand all about it, but the only way to really break through it is to just feel the fear and DO it anyway!

The point of this illustration is that we can learn a great deal from our fears if we allow ourselves to look at them instead of run from them or try to bury them. In essence, fear is the energy to do your best. If you’re giving a presentation at work and you’re feeling nervous or fearful about it, look underneath those feelings to see what’s there. Maybe it’s nudging you to check your facts and make sure you’re fully prepared in some way. Maybe it’s reminding you that you do better when you’ve practiced your presentation several times…… But you won’t know what’s behind it if you don’t look.

And you’ll never grow into the full potential of who you are if you let your fears hold you back.

And even when you’ve looked underneath the fear, behind it, beside it, and every which ways around it, there still comes the point when you just have to FEEL the fear and DO it anyway. Even if you have to break it down in to tiny steps like I did in my motorcycle experience. That’s Okay. Because the more times you feel it and do it anyway, the more evidence you collect on the “yes, I can do this” side. And the more “yes I can’s” that you have under your belt, the more the fear subsides.

Next time you are feeling fearful about something, stop and take a look underneath. What is it saying to you? Can you remember other times you felt this same fear? Is it possible for you to FEEL this fear and just DO it anyway? If not, what small step can you take now to begin to chip away at this fear and collect more evidences that “Yes, you can do this”?

Blessings!

-Becky